Dumating ka na ba sa punto na tinanong mo ang sarili mo
kung bakit ka nabubuhay? Yung sa tingin mo walang saysay ang buhay mo…tipong “what’s
the point of waking up every morning?”
May good news ako para sa mga hindi pa: darating ang
tamang panahon at itatanong mo rin yan sa sarili mo.
Sadya lang siguro na merong mga tao na maagang dumating
sa puntong ito. I personally call this “the great humbling experience.”
May mga taong makaka-relate. May mga taong hindi. May mga
taong wa-care.
Well, how will they ever ask this question kung lahat sa
buhay nila ay almost perfect? They love their career. They love their friends.
They’re rich. They love themselves. They love the things they do. They travel
for pleasure. They’re successful. Etc. Etc.
Dude, even I will never ask that question if I have all
that!
But here’s the catch, life is not always pleasant. Kahit
gaano ka man kayaman o ka-successful, darating ang mga oras ng matinding pagsubok
sa buhay mo. Sure ako diyan!
Again, I’ll share what happened to me. The reason na I grew
up trying my best sa lahat ng ginagawa ko is to be rich. Bakit? I want to give
my family, including my lolo and my lola a comfortable living. I want my dad to
stop working abroad para masaya kami dito magkakasama. I want to take them to
places where they will surely enjoy. Kaya I worked hard. I worked my way up.
Got awards. Got recognitions.
But when my lola was taken back unexpectedly, that dream
of mine broke like glass. Kasi my very intent is for us to be together happily.
Nawala sa isip ko na anytime, one of us can be gone in a second.
Nawala sa isip ko na in reality, life is uncertain. We do
not have time in our hands. We do not know if tomorrow eh magigising pa tayo.
We do not know if we will still reach 80. These things are out of our hands.
Then I feel that feeling of stagnancy. Nag-iimprove ba’ko?
In my career? In my personal life? Kasi parang hindi. Honestly, I am not
enjoying my work anymore. I am just doing this for the sake of finishing it.
For the sake of being called “employed.”
Eto pa in addition. In my mind is the rapture, the near
coming of the Lord. I surrendered my goals and dreams to the Lord. Lahat yon!
Kasi natatakot ako na if I wholeheartedly pursue the career I want, I might
lose my intimacy with Jesus which will surely happen. If I run after the things
of the world and the things I want to achieve, I might not please the Lord with
my life. Mahal ko si Lord kaya I chose what I chose.
Kaya ang situation ko, I felt stuck in the present. No
vision whatsoever. Plus things are not going exactly the way I want them to. It’s
so not me. It’s so not the life I want to live.
One morning, while in the bus, I asked myself. “Bakit ba
ako nagpapakapagod, gumising ng alas kwatro, nagtatrabaho ng siyam na oras o
mahigit, umuuwi ng halos gabi na dahil sa trapik, tapos pagdating sa bahay wala
na halos oras makagawa ng kung ano, tapos sabado may pasok pa, di naman ganon
kataasan ang sweldo?”
“Is this gonna be my life for the following years? Di
naman ako nakaka-ipon! Pa’no, lugi sa pagkain at pamasahe.”
“For what am I doing this for? Para ba yumaman kami? Para
san pa, nawala na isa sa’min? Sooner or later, it will happen again? What’s the
point?”
“Lord, bakit mo pa’ko binuhay ngayon? I do not have
anything to do anyway.”
When things are not going good, when we do not seem to
know our purpose in life, when that feeling of emptiness is present, when there’s
nothing new or no significant changes or no improvements in our life, we tend
to say these words.
Trust me, it’s hard to live a day with these things in
your mind. It’s like the feeling of hopelessness. It will negatively affect
your attitude, your work performance and generally how you will live your life.
(Nangayayat kaya ako nun!)
Kaya I want to invite you to have an online bible study
with me about a book in the Bible where the Lord led me.
Gusto kong i-share yung itinuro sakin ni Lord sa
Ecclesiastes nung sinubukan kong i-translate ang verses sa easy-to-understand
tagalog with additional personal emphasis. I have never understood the book this way before.
Akala ko the book is a sad pessimistic book. Pero nung
nai-translate ko sa tagalog, whoa!! There is much wisdom in the book! AND, it
is the book perfect for my situation. And hopefully makatulong din sa inyo.
I suggest you take one chapter a day. It is wisdom not to
exhaust yourself with too much chapters in one day. Pray to the Lord that He
puts His spirit in the words you will read.
Kabanata 11
Kabanata 12
No comments:
Post a Comment