Let it be done according to Your script

The problem isn’t over yet. Thank God, my family’s okay. Now we face the money part. And it’s funny how I was faithful the last time and doubtful again this time.

I feel that I have to do something to solve the problem.

In truth, I can’t. I don’t earn a lot. I don’t have any business. And I don’t plan on adding more loans to what we already have.

The things I felt that I wrote in the previous article all came back.

“Why do I have to suffer? Why me? I work hard to avoid problems. I obey God’s word to avoid future troubles. Bla bla bla”

You can imagine me very tired and heavily burdened once again. 

“Lord, provide for us PLEASE.”

It was also funny I was giving God deadlines. I think it would be a normal reaction for someone who fears. But the thing is, I lost faith….again. I was kind of worried. The faith spark was gone. However how many times I recite the Gospel, it wasn’t working as it used to.

I was never overwhelmed by any problem before. This one was a major thing. And it was sucking my life out. I even got sick and still experiencing slight fever.

One time, a brother in faith texted me. He said “The Lord told me to focus my prayer to you. How are you?”

This simple thing made me feel special in the Lord’s eyes. It made me feel that the Lord is concerned about me.

I told my friend that I want to meet up with him and vent out things that I kept to myself for weeks. He urged me to meet up because it plays an important role in the body of Christ.

So we met up at Gateway Mall, Cubao and had coffee. He ministered to me by reading me verses. When I saw him, I became happy seeing this same guy who I used to minister a year ago minister to me now.

That spiritual pride of mine was stripped off. Note 1: We are all the same in the body of Christ. We need each other. And we need to meet up in a regular basis.

 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as isthe manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews10:23-25

The good thing about this brother is that he doesn’t just give me biblical advice. He shared to me personal experiences and testimonies of other Christians who are going through a lot of things. And one of the things that touched me was when he said

“even though Christians fall, sin, go through trials and fail, they are still on the right path.”

It made me think how God loves me so much that not even my wrong decisions or the burdens in life or wrong turns can separate me from His perfect will. All along, I thought I was lost. But as He said

And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. John 6:39

 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. John 10:27-28

“God loves me so much.” I thought to myself in small tears.

The brother also told me that I have been very legalistic in life. That I do the right things and expect good things in return. That is why I said to the Lord

“I don’t deserve whatever is happening to me.”

Note 2: Do the right thing because it’s the right thing and because you love God.

And to complete the holy unburdening process, he urged me to stop looking at the problem as the “problem.” This is the reason all I thought about for the past weeks was the “solution.” No wonder I grew tired.

Note 3: Let it be. Let God do His work. He has a good plan and purpose for all the things that I am going through.

I was able to smile again. Then I remembered what the Great Director taught me while spending time with Him in a park. God told me that my life is like a movie. He wrote the script with a happy ending. Only He can direct it.

Every time we choose to direct our own life movie, it’s not a surprise that it will have a tragic ending. But if we let God direct our lives, surely, it will always be a happy ending.

So why am I experiencing all these? I don't know. I don't need to know. I just know that God will never ever lead me to destruction. He will lead me to greener pastures. 

So Lord, as your son,  I can’t believe I am saying this in the middle of a tough financial battle (a major shift in my prayers) but I say to You 

“Father, let your will be done.....not mine anymore.”

As a future film director of the Lord, I say to You

“Direk, let your will be done according to Your script.”

The Good News

It started when I received a text from my brother.

“Kuya, we have a BIG problem.”

I was at the office when I found out that we were under one major financial crisis.

Because of demonic influences, there had been an on-going misuse of family funds for the last few months. It was only that time (when my brother texted me) that the issue was made known.

I knew that my family was under attack. Satan wants to destroy my family and he used money (his most effective weapon to destroy relationships) to try to cut our ties. Anger broke out. Depression and tears filled the atmosphere of our house. Hatred and fear were largely present. Separation, even, was nearby.

Even I, at one point, felt them.

I honestly do not think I deserved to be involved in this mess. For me, it was unfair. I was doing what I can to be financially independent and capable. I was tithing. I was saving up. Why do I have to get involved in a mess I did not do?

“Truly, you don’t always get what you deserve.”

Life, sadly, is not just a bunch of rules that if you follow them correctly, your life is going to be problem-free.

I even thought this sad thing. I am close to the Lord and walks in His ways but what do I get from doing that? How was I different?

I am still human. Whatever I write in my blog is inspired by God Himself. But just by myself, I can’t. To be honest, I really think there’s nothing good in life. There’s no reason for me to wake up every morning and face another trial, problem or test. Life, for me, is black and white.

I tried to remind myself of the principles I learned while going to church, listening to preachers, studying the Word. But none of them was able to give me the faith that the Lord will help us. I lost that faith and almost believed that the Lord cannot help us. Why will the Lord care? Why will He help us in a mess we created ourselves? Wouldn’t He say to us “that’s what you deserve for not being wise and not being close to Me?” I just don’t know why the God of heavens would even care.

Then the Lord texted me.

“When all else fails, go back to the Gospel.”

The Gospel, in simple terms, is this: We were under God’s wrath because of our sins. So He sent His only son, Jesus, to die for us so that the power of sin is broken. We are now reconciled with God. He is not angry with us anymore. Not only that, He rose up on the third day and was seated on the right hand of the Father so that we who believe will be made like Him. Out of our sinful ways, we are now free to live for the Lord.

I meditated on these simple words day and night while going through. What is the power of sin? Sin gave my family depression, hatred, hopelessness, faithlessness, and separation. Separation….

Christ died so that my family will have a strong bond free from all these negativity. Christ died for my family’s salvation. Christ died TO PAY OUR DEBTS.

Lo, and behold, faith came like a mighty rushing wind. Hope was in the air once again. What I am praying for, GOD ALREADY ANSWERED THROUGH WHAT JESUS DID! I have a reason to believe that GOD WILL HELP. I have a foundation that SURELY, HELP WILL COME because it HAS BEEN GIVEN.

So I declared, I decreed:

“By the virtue of what Jesus did on the cross, I decree HEALING OF RELATIONSHIP, RESTORATION OF TRUST, AND DIVINE PROVISION to come to my family in Jesus’ name. I rebuke you, Satan! Get behind me and far from my family. You shall not break the ties that the Lord Jesus died for. You shall not touch our finances for the Lord died to give us divine provision. I command angels to deliver to me what the Father has already provided. Now I’m giving you the work you are waiting for. In Jesus' Name. SO BE IT!”

I realized that this is the difference of loving and serving God. This is the difference of one simple believer. God’s love made all the difference. And out of this love, I was able to preach (text) the message to my dad, my mom and my brother. When they were hopeless, I was filled with hope and faith.

I texted my brothers and sisters in Christ, messaged them on facebook to pray for me for I believe in the power of corporate prayer.

After a few days, my dad texted me.

“Anak, you are right. This family is too precious to be broken by mere money. Money can be earned again but this family cannot. This family shall remain. I will do something about the money matter. Thank God for you, anak. ”

Tears broke out of my eyes.

“ Lord Jesus, if ever you are reading my blog, I give you all praise, thanksgiving, and honor and love. You are faithful even if we are not. I bless you. Truly, you are worthy of everything I have. I give it all to you. It is not of worth, but it’s everything I have got.”

And I say this again:

“Truly, we do not always get what we deserve.” We do not deserve Christ but Christ died for us, loved us while we were still sinners. Such amazing love!

“Lord, thank you for my brothers and sisters in faith who prayed for me. I don’t deserve them yet you gave them to me. Let their names be kept secret only for you to know. I pray that you sandwhich them with every earthly and spiritual blessings.In Jesus name. Amen.”

“ Lord, I told before that nothing in life is good. But now, you gave me a reason to wake up every morning. You bring color back in to my life. You shall be the reason I meet and greet a new day every day.”

And when all else fails, go back to the Gospel, the Good news of the kingdom, that is Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior of men.

For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jews first and also for the Gentiles. Romans 1:16

P.S. I can now text back to my brother the good news:

“Bro, we may have a BIG problem, but we have a BIGGER GOD.”

Can't Help But Ask

Aren't you tired of living a life where God seems to be absent all the time?

Or believing that God is present but invisible as air?

Or speaking the Word of God but it remains as some sort of psychological encouragement?

Or, say, praying for someone's health and yet that someone dies in sickness?

Is the Church of God living in the fullness of what she is called to be?

Isn't she called to move in power and not just in words? We have plenty of churches that have pastors who can speak inspiring and anointed words. But few move in the power of God.
Worse, few teach them.

Paul said in one of his letters that the kingdom of God is not a matter of words but POWER!

Jesus said that we preach the Gospel around the world and these signs will accompany all believers. They will heal the sick, cast out demons, etc.!

Where is all that? Where is the power that the bible is talking about?  Why aren't they teaching these anymore?

Is God's presence really but a spooky feeling? Or falling down when prayed for?

If God really came, isn't there supposed to be manifestations? A Mist? A feather? A golden dust?

Or at least the people will be prostate before God in tears?

Isn't it that we call God wonderful? Where is the wonder?? Aren't Christians supposed to be living in the supernatural?

Aren't God's manifestations in our lives and here on earth what Jesus died for?

If you think you're saved and that's it, think again.

Our God and His Christ are more than just stories. He is real. He is alive. He is literally existing! Literally God! Literally powerful! Literally almighty!

So when you think you found God, think again.

Was He really here?

Maybe, God is just waiting for us to ASK.

A Life All About Ryan Rotor Sucketh (B)

My God is Good

We’re living in a world filled with hopelessness, despair, disappointments, frustrations, sickness, disease, abnormalities and all other negative stuff you can think of.

It’s not hard to spot them. You can see it right outside your house. Worse, you can see them inside us, in our hearts and minds.

How easy it is to say “that’s life.” How easy it is to just go along like everybody else does.

“Anu ba naman magagawa natin? Ganyan talaga.”

The worst thing we can think is to equate God with these negative things. 

“That’s God’s will, eh.”

Disease is God’s intention to teach us or a punishment to our sins? Hopelessness? Disappointments? Troubles are from God?

Really? If so, what hope do we still have? How can we pray for healing if we believe that God gave that disease? How can we pray for guidance if we believe that God gave the problem?

I use to think this way. I thought God just keep on testing me. I thought God allowed it for His purpose. Truth is, I’m really not sure. This thought is brought by my legalism – the I-get-what-I-deserve mentality. 

People will ask me, “I prayed to God for healing my relative but He did not heal him. Then you will tell me that He is still good. How come?” 

Honestly, I do not know how to defend God because I do not know the answer to this myself. But I grew tired of knowing God as someone who breathes fire all the time. How can I approach the Lord if I see Him as the bringer of bad stuff in my life?

So I decided to believe this: God is good. And from this, I can have faith & hope. My situation will not dictate my future as long as I have a good God. As long as I have a good God, I can boldly pray that his good will be done on earth as it is in heaven. As long as I have a good God, I have hope for a better future.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11   NKJV)

My God is good. Our God is good. 

We cannot keep on judging God’s goodness based on the bad stuff that happens to us. Instead, in the middle of the bad stuff, the sons and daughters of God boldly declares “OUR GOD IS GOOD AND HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!”

A life all about Ryan Rotor sucketh (A)

Fast

Nowadays, everything seems fast. One morning, I wake up, I go to work. The next thing I know, it’s 6 pm already. Months ago, we were celebrating new year, now, Christmas is nearing.

Nowadays, people finish tasks quickly. Through the hi-tech gadgets we have, multi-tasking has been the trend. Smart phones, tablets, wifi, all these things make life so convenient.

Nowadays, we want it all fast. At least I do, in case you don’t. “I want it now!” If I don’t get it now or soon, I become unhappy. Sadly, the Lord Jesus revealed to me that I have been going with the flow of the world for the past months.

Now that I am getting near the finish line of the spiritual crisis, I can see clearly once more. Because everything is becoming fast, I also desired to be prosperous ASAP.

The Lord told me that it’s not bad to desire prosperity. In fact, all humans are wired for prosperity. We were never really programmed to work hard for our food. We were programmed for luxury.

But again, because “fast” is the new thing, I wanted prosperity literally fast to the point that I obey Christ for the sake of prosperity. In effect, when bad things happen, I ask myself.

“What did I do wrong? What sin have I committed? Why was God’s favor not with me?”

The problem began here. “What is wrong with me?” Me.Me.Me. Endless Me. Pagkagising sa umaga, Me. Prayer time with the Lord, Me. Office hours, Me. Pagdating sa bahay, Me.

“I need to change. I am so weak. I am so sinful. I am so unwise. I am so frustrated. I am... I am… I am…I did this…I did that…I want this…I want that….”

 Tapos I will ask the Lord “Lord, why do I feel tired? Pagod na pagod na po ako [kaka-improve ng sarili ko at buhay ko].”

 5Thus says the LORD,
         “Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind
         And makes flesh his strength,
         And whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6“For he will be like a bush in the desert
         And will not see when prosperity comes,
         But will live in stony wastes in the wilderness,
         A land of salt without inhabitant. (Jeremiah 17:5-6)

It’s really tiring to live one day always thinking about yourself, much more to live a life all about yourself.

In this world where everything seems so fast, it’s easy to go with the flow that leads to destruction.  If we do not guard our hearts on a diligent, day-to-day basis, we will be going with the flow of the world, the flow that focuses more on self and unknowingly expels God out of our lives.

Matthew 24:12  says that in the last days, iniquity shall abound and the love of many will grow cold.

And it is already happening. The increase of self-centeredness brought about by the fast evolving lifestyle of people makes us not concerned about others and fill our lives with excuses why we shouldn't have to.

"I don't have time. I don't have money. It's hard."

People are missing one of the greatest lessons they can learn while alive, that to love others is the key to a really happy and fulfilled life.  Love God first. Love others as we love ourselves. And we can never really love without getting our minds off ourselves!

This is what I missed in the past few months. Yes, I was praying everyday. Yes, I was going to church. But most of the time, my focus was on everything about me. It's amazing how we can live our lives thinking we're close to God but we're actually not.

I seriously want to give up my self-centered life (which is not an easy thing to do). So the Lord told me:

“I want you to declare a fast. Fast and abstain not from food (because I am working) but from thinking about yourself, from hearing voices regarding yourself, from hearing comments and suggestions regarding others & situations, from TV and other heathen materials and from internet outside office. Instead, fill yourself with My Word and be a blessing to others.   ”

Actually there’s more on the list. God’s basically saying to me, fast by abstaining from yourself and meditate more on Him. This verse is very true:

A life all about Ryan Rotor sucketh; 

  

Yes, I still want to be successful and prosperous….but now I let God be in charge of that. Let my life be aimed in blessing those I can bless with the small means I have. Let my mind be concerned of others and their welfare. Let my goal in life be this: that I may be an answer to someone else’s prayer every day of my life.

⁶ [Rather] is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every [enslaving] yoke?

⁷ Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house—when you see the naked, that you cover him, and that you hide not yourself from [the needs of] your own flesh and blood?

⁸ Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration and the power of a new life) shall spring forth speedily; your righteousness (your rightness, your justice, and your right relationship with God) shall go before you [conducting you to peace and prosperity], and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

⁹ Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and He will say, Here I am. If you take away from your midst yokes of oppression [wherever you find them], the finger pointed in scorn [toward the oppressed or the godly], and every form of false, harsh, unjust, and wicked speaking,

¹⁰ And if you pour out that with which you sustain your own life for the hungry and satisfy the need of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in darkness, and your obscurity and gloom become like the noonday.

¹¹ And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not.

(Isaiah 58: 6-11  AMP)