Fast

Nowadays, everything seems fast. One morning, I wake up, I go to work. The next thing I know, it’s 6 pm already. Months ago, we were celebrating new year, now, Christmas is nearing.

Nowadays, people finish tasks quickly. Through the hi-tech gadgets we have, multi-tasking has been the trend. Smart phones, tablets, wifi, all these things make life so convenient.

Nowadays, we want it all fast. At least I do, in case you don’t. “I want it now!” If I don’t get it now or soon, I become unhappy. Sadly, the Lord Jesus revealed to me that I have been going with the flow of the world for the past months.

Now that I am getting near the finish line of the spiritual crisis, I can see clearly once more. Because everything is becoming fast, I also desired to be prosperous ASAP.

The Lord told me that it’s not bad to desire prosperity. In fact, all humans are wired for prosperity. We were never really programmed to work hard for our food. We were programmed for luxury.

But again, because “fast” is the new thing, I wanted prosperity literally fast to the point that I obey Christ for the sake of prosperity. In effect, when bad things happen, I ask myself.

“What did I do wrong? What sin have I committed? Why was God’s favor not with me?”

The problem began here. “What is wrong with me?” Me.Me.Me. Endless Me. Pagkagising sa umaga, Me. Prayer time with the Lord, Me. Office hours, Me. Pagdating sa bahay, Me.

“I need to change. I am so weak. I am so sinful. I am so unwise. I am so frustrated. I am... I am… I am…I did this…I did that…I want this…I want that….”

 Tapos I will ask the Lord “Lord, why do I feel tired? Pagod na pagod na po ako [kaka-improve ng sarili ko at buhay ko].”

 5Thus says the LORD,
         “Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind
         And makes flesh his strength,
         And whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6“For he will be like a bush in the desert
         And will not see when prosperity comes,
         But will live in stony wastes in the wilderness,
         A land of salt without inhabitant. (Jeremiah 17:5-6)

It’s really tiring to live one day always thinking about yourself, much more to live a life all about yourself.

In this world where everything seems so fast, it’s easy to go with the flow that leads to destruction.  If we do not guard our hearts on a diligent, day-to-day basis, we will be going with the flow of the world, the flow that focuses more on self and unknowingly expels God out of our lives.

Matthew 24:12  says that in the last days, iniquity shall abound and the love of many will grow cold.

And it is already happening. The increase of self-centeredness brought about by the fast evolving lifestyle of people makes us not concerned about others and fill our lives with excuses why we shouldn't have to.

"I don't have time. I don't have money. It's hard."

People are missing one of the greatest lessons they can learn while alive, that to love others is the key to a really happy and fulfilled life.  Love God first. Love others as we love ourselves. And we can never really love without getting our minds off ourselves!

This is what I missed in the past few months. Yes, I was praying everyday. Yes, I was going to church. But most of the time, my focus was on everything about me. It's amazing how we can live our lives thinking we're close to God but we're actually not.

I seriously want to give up my self-centered life (which is not an easy thing to do). So the Lord told me:

“I want you to declare a fast. Fast and abstain not from food (because I am working) but from thinking about yourself, from hearing voices regarding yourself, from hearing comments and suggestions regarding others & situations, from TV and other heathen materials and from internet outside office. Instead, fill yourself with My Word and be a blessing to others.   ”

Actually there’s more on the list. God’s basically saying to me, fast by abstaining from yourself and meditate more on Him. This verse is very true:

A life all about Ryan Rotor sucketh; 

  

Yes, I still want to be successful and prosperous….but now I let God be in charge of that. Let my life be aimed in blessing those I can bless with the small means I have. Let my mind be concerned of others and their welfare. Let my goal in life be this: that I may be an answer to someone else’s prayer every day of my life.

⁶ [Rather] is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every [enslaving] yoke?

⁷ Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house—when you see the naked, that you cover him, and that you hide not yourself from [the needs of] your own flesh and blood?

⁸ Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration and the power of a new life) shall spring forth speedily; your righteousness (your rightness, your justice, and your right relationship with God) shall go before you [conducting you to peace and prosperity], and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

⁹ Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and He will say, Here I am. If you take away from your midst yokes of oppression [wherever you find them], the finger pointed in scorn [toward the oppressed or the godly], and every form of false, harsh, unjust, and wicked speaking,

¹⁰ And if you pour out that with which you sustain your own life for the hungry and satisfy the need of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in darkness, and your obscurity and gloom become like the noonday.

¹¹ And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not.

(Isaiah 58: 6-11  AMP)

I Will Never Leave You Nor Forsake You

I often get to a point where I think I’m spiritual enough to pass any test, especially if they’re spiritual by nature. I love it when the Lord proves me wrong.

I’m experiencing a so-called spiritual famine. It is a place, rather, a state of mind where I just feel rebellious to the Lord. It’s true that I love the Lord. But in a way, I can’t seem to understand why I am allowing myself to disobey God to such extent.

I am not as holy as I seem to be. Without the Lord, you bet! 

It all went downhill when I was terribly sick. One action of disobedience has led me to do more. I do not understand. I should be within the boundaries of grace and yet I was willingly sinning. 

“What happened?”

I remember the Lord foretelling this spiritual famine (in which, at first, I thought was a financial crisis only). One night, when I was praying in the spirit, I sensed the Lord telling me

“There’s going to be a crisis.”

This is one of those prophecies that I honestly don’t want to hear. However, it was very clear what He spoke. What amazes me is the fact that I wasn’t surprised at all. It was as if I knew it already. But He continued

“You will get through it, for I will be with you.”

Then a series of unfortunate events began. First a financial crisis struck the family, then my physical [area], then my spiritual, then my career. It was horrible. Satan was obviously pulling me down. I grew tired. I grew stressed. I wanted to quit my job. I wanted to stay mad at everyone. It made me happy doing the bad things and thinking the bad thoughts.

“Good Lord, help me.”

The voices of the enemy became louder and louder. “It’s all your fault! You’re not a good Christian! It is because you disobeyed Christ that you experience what you experience. You don’t have enough money because…..! Bla-Bla-Bla”

I prayed. I declared. I rebuked. But it was as if they were no use at all.

My lesson number one: Surrender.

I was riding the MRT to Ayala when I suddenly decided

“ Ahhhh-I give up, Lord. Bahala na kung anong mangyari. Bahala ka na, Lord. Pagod na pagod na’ko. I give up. If this is who I am to be for the many years to come, so be it. I give to you all these things I carry. Bahala na.”

Then, there was a dramatic change of feelings. The heaviness I was feeling was gone all of a sudden. I can pray again in the spirit.

It’s funny how the basic foundational lessons I thought I have learned can be forgotten that easily. Surely, I am still learning myself. Uhuh, humbled again.

But the crisis wasn’t over. I was still enjoying and even desiring rebellion.

Next stop on Satan’s list is my job. It was as if the world does not want me to finish the project assigned to me. Everything just went wrong.

“Wala na bang katapusan ito?” I screamed.

I was drifting away from the Lord. It was as if I wasn’t close to Him anymore. I did not feel the same way I felt about Him before. The love I had for Him seemed to have grown cold. For me, it was alarming.

“What is happening?”

My lesson number two: Jesus

Of all the names I can forget, why the name above all names? I seem to have forgotten this name nor was there a desire to mention it at all. I reminded myself that this wonderful journey I am enjoying all started from this Person who sacrificed Himself for me. Oh, how horrible I felt. Imagine forgetting the name of your spouse who loves you with his all. It was, for me, unforgivable. How could I do that to the one who saved my life?

“Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus”

I immersed myself in His name.

“Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.”

If spirit experts call the name of the spirit to summon them, I call on the name of the Lord that He may return and draw near me again.

“Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Yeshua. Yeshua. Hesus. Hesus.”

People may see it crazy. But I was desperate. And the word says “those who call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” The crisis may not be over but I was assured of my victory because I remembered the name Jesus.

I realized it is so easy to forget the spiritual things you have learned when you choose to focus on the circumstances and on yourself. The gravest thing one can do is to forget his Source of Help.

And yes, the gravest thing happened to me in my work. Oh, boy. It was ten times more horrible than the previous.

I was to make a tile mural again for my boss and my deadline was quickly approaching. The important machine to finish the job was broken so I had to surrender it to a repair shop. And it seemed that the shop cannot fix it soon enough and I was getting really worried. I don’t have enough money to buy a new machine so my Oplan-Abono ain’t gonna work. It was dead hopeless. I saw no faith that the machine can be fixed in time.

I was down, hopeless, desperate when I went to work. Of course no one else knew about it because I’m very good at hiding my true feelings. I was smiling and laughing along with others but deep inside, I was fearful. Still, I was trying to convince myself that the Lord will surely help me.

So on the last scheduled day, I went to the shop somehow convinced that the Lord will help us fix it. I was on my way when I sensed that this kind of faith I had (a faith with doubt on the side) is no faith at all. If I was still quite unsure that there will be no help, I better prepare myself for the worst.

And the “worst” occurred. I waited long and they were not able to fix the machine on the last deadline-safe day. I was half dead. On those hours, I can be likened to a doomed someone who left a company suitcase containing one million peso cash on a taxi that already went away for hours. 

“I’ve had it! If the Lord will not help me, I’ll do this on my own. I will deliver this even if the Lord does not care, even if He does not help. I will surely deliver. I will finish that project! I will deliver! ”

I gave up on God. I felt alone. I felt rejected. I felt doomed.

After a few while, the Holy Spirit convicted me of how foolish my words were. It’s a good thing the Holy Spirit, though grieved, did not depart from me. I can still hear Him in my deepest despair. I was like Job, with more words, I multiply my sins before God.

Anyway, the Holy Spirit made me realize that if the Lord Himself will not help me, who in the world can? Next, it is impossible that the Lord is not involved because the very breath I have comes from Him. But I was still sad and disappointed. I did not talk to God though I was saying sorry for the way I choose to act.

“It’s only tampururot. It will be gone in time.”

Deep inside me, I did not hate God at all. I may feel hurt, but that does not mean I hate Him. I kept on reminding myself, I do not love God for His hands (favor, blessings) but for His presence. I reminded myself that when no one was there for me, Jesus was and He will always be.

“Tampo lang ito. It will be gone sooner or later.”

I was like a child not given a Christmas present. I woke up feeling bad. I went to work very early feeling bad.  

My lesson number three: Praise and worship especially if you don’t want to

So in my misery, I sat down and reclined on my table.  I turned on my phone hoping to get comfort on the non-Christian songs I have there. Suddenly, there was an urge to listen to just one worship song hoping something might change.

Then I felt the power of the Holy Spirit just drift in. It was completely unexpected. I was like

“You know what, I don’t care whatever happens anymore. I don’t care if my boss gets mad at me. I don’t care if that bloody machine can’t be fixed. I WILL WORSHIP AND PRAISE THE LORD TODAY BECAUSE HE MATTERS!”

I was thinking, in this life, God is the one who really matters. Screw all those little things. They can’t kill me anyway. I will still live even though this job is not accomplished and I get fired for not doing this.

I was empowered. I was encouraged. I was strengthened. I was ready to fight and finish this thing. It was like a magic spell was cast upon me, one good white magic spell.

I realized, what I carry in my phone is powerful. These songs are spiritual warfare songs I took for granted. When my heart fails to sing a song unto the Lord, these recorded pieces will help me enter the presence of God in a tremendous way.

So after this, I stood up and prepared myself to buy a new machine, my last resort to finish the job. I got my tithes (which I was hesitant to use) and all the remaining money (which was supposed to be my budget until my next paycheck) in my bank and went to Manila even though I know it was still flooded there.

“If they cannot fix that machine, I will buy a new one even if it costs me.”

I went on my way filled with the Holy Spirit power. I do not know if I will be helped but I just had hope I will deliver the project which was due the next day.

Help no. 1:

I got to the shop hoping they have plenty of machine stock. The saleslady told me there was none. But there was a new machine of that sort which was displayed on their shelf and no one knows who owns it. The saleslady asked around and no one seems to know who placed that there. That machine was sold to me! I know for sure God, the Lord of heaven and earth, prepared it beforehand just for me.

Help no. 2:

I got back to Makati and went straight to the repair shop where I took the old machine. I brought them the new machine so that they may convert it properly for my use. I was expecting a service charge of Php 400. But what I got in my wallet was only Php 300 only. So I prayed. The technician called the head office to ask how much to charge me. The head office charged me exactly Php 300. Coincident? I don’t think so.

Help no. 3:

It normally takes two days to finish baking 40 pieces of 8 by 8 inch size tiles. I baked 50 + tiles in 3 hours.

“Surely, the Lord helped me.”

The project was done. The tile mural was colorful and excellently done.

“Great job, Rye” says my boss.

My lesson number four: Have faith. He lives in Me.

My life verse is “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” It’s kind of sad I have forgotten this verse. If only I remembered, I would not have said those foolish words.

The Lord will help us in all our troubles. He cares for what you care, little or small. As surely as the sun will rise, He will help you and He will get you through. He will never abandon you or ever reject you. He shall be faithful even if you are not. He lives in you. He enjoys living in you. So why will He leave you?

The Lord our God reigns.

So if next time, I feel like the Lord will not come through, I will remind myself of this experience. If the Lord helped me here, surely the Lord will help me again.

In the midst of a spiritual famine, God remains faithful. Remember what He told me before?

“You will get through it, for I WILL BE WITH YOU.”

Galing, noh?

And just to magnify His awesomeness, here is Psalm 91:14-16 of different translations:

Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness—trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never].

He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation. (AMP)

==

"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,

      "I'll get you out of any trouble.

   I'll give you the best of care

      if you'll only get to know and trust me.

   Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;

      I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.

   I'll give you a long life,

      give you a long drink of salvation!" (MSG)

==

“Because  Ryan loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;

    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 Ryan will call on me, and I will answer him;

    I will be with him in trouble,

    I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy Ryan

    and show him my salvation. ”  (RYE)

I pray that the readers of this post will come to a point where the word of God is not anymore just a psychological treatment to make them feel good despite feeling bad. May the Word be alive and really happen right before their very eyes.

      

Divine Communication

"Does the Lord still speak to us nowadays?"

I often ask God this question. When I pray, is it only me who speaks?
I believe God hears but does He respond?

Most of the time, especially when I'm down, I think God does not want to speak to me.
I can't hear His voice. I can't sense His presence. And worse, it makes 
me reflect on how sinful and unholy I am. Why do other Christians hear from
Him and I don't? Why can other Christians boldly say "I heard from the Lord"
or "the Lord told me to."

I am somehow thankful because I have not reached the point where I ask if the
Lord is really alive.

I still firmly believes He is. He is alive, well, and outrageously active in my life.
But why can't I hear from Him? Have I silenced Him? Or made me dumb
from hearing Him?

"My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow Me." John 10:27

I am surely one of His sheep....So, why can't I?

For God may speak in one way, or in another,
Yet man does not perceive it.

In a dream, in a vision of the night,
When deep sleep falls upon men,
While slumbering on their beds,

Then He opens the ears of men,
And seals their instruction.

In order to turn man from his deed,
And conceal pride from man,

He keeps back his soul from the Pit,
And his life from perishing by the sword.

“Man is also chastened with pain on his bed,
And with strong pain in many of his bones, Job 33:14-19

Then, it hit me. I cannot put God in a box. Maybe, I am expecting

God to respond only in ways that I can think of, forgetting that

He is God and He can choose to speak to me through other ways.

It can be through His Word, 

through a preaching I "happened" to watch, 

through a random someone talking to me, 

through the advice of my parents, friends or colleagues, 

through a poster I "happened" to look at,

through a stat message in FB,

through a song I "happened" to be listening at the moment,

even through a disease (why not?),

through a random dream!

There are tons of ways God can speak to us. We just need to watch out

for it. We need to free our mind from clutters that we may be able to

meditate on His word and receive from Him. 

"But how do you know it is God?"

I cannot answer this specifically. All I know is, you will just feel it. 

Try to remember the questions you asked God before and watch

out everyday. When people speaks to you, try not to ignore what

they say. Try not to easily ignore the events in your life and you

will be surprised. 

And funny thing, I found out that He speaks to me using the most

familiar method I know because I do this everyday -- imagining. I thought I control

my imagination or the train of thoughts that I meditate on the way to work.

Turned out, God uses them to teach me, warn me of future things, disclose

to me something important and many more.

A lot of times I miss it. But, it's not too late for us. 

Believe that He speaks. He speaks to you as a father speaks to his child, 

a groom speaks to his bride, a friend speaks to another, and

a master speaks to his servant. 

After all, what is a relationship without communication

Scriptures Fulfilled Right Before Me

In one of my prayer times, I asked the Lord in awe how He is able to change me for the better in the middle of a place where one honestly don't want to be. 

I can say that being in a place where you don't want to be should not be a place of growth. It is like the desert. It's uncomfortable, hot, and naturally the habitat of an all-time famine. No one wants to live there. I personally don't want to live there.

But it seems that the Lord had led me to a desert these past few months. To my surprise, my Christian foundations are immensely strengthened and the fruits of the Spirit are still there. I expected myself to give up Christianity because it seems hard. In awe, I saw that the outcome was the exact opposite.

" Lord, how can this be? "

He answered me through the Scriptures.

Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
    Nor stands in the path of sinners,
    Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
    And in His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
    Planted by the rivers of water,
    That brings forth its fruit in its season,
    Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper. (Psalms 1:1-3)

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

And whose hope is the Lord.

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,

Which spreads out its roots by the river,

And will not fear when heat comes;

But its leaf will be green,

And will not be anxious in the year of drought,

Nor will cease from yielding fruit. (Jeremiah 17:7-8)

" But Lord, there's no river in the desert!! "

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.

The parched ground shall become a pool,
And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.

A highway shall be there, and a road,
And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.
The unclean shall not pass over it,
But it shall be for others.
Whoever walks the road, although a fool,
Shall not go astray.
 

No lion shall be there,
Nor shall any ravenous beast go up on it;
It shall not be found there.
But the redeemed shall walk there,

 

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return,
And come to Zion with singing,
With everlasting joy on their heads.
They shall obtain joy and gladness,
And sorrow and sighing shall flee away (Isaiah 35:5-10)

God's very word being fulfilled right before my very eyes. 

Worthy is He of praise. His Word endures forever! 

 

Thank You

Dear God,

My family’s life isn’t exactly how I prayed it to be. My dad is still far off – sacrificing intimacy with us to provide for the whole family. Two of us, Nanay Pining and Tito Genie, left this world so soon. In truth, we are still a broken family – broken by hatred, unforgiveness and selfishness.

But as we celebrate my mom and dad’s silver anniversary, I wish to stop looking at what’s visible and instead, just simply thank You.

Thank You, that after 25 years, we are still complete, though not together. 

Thank You for appointing me to Rudy & Luzviminda Rotor. I don’t think any other couple can do a great job in raising me up in sweet and tender love.

Thank You, Lord, that you provided us a decent living, though not rich. We have enough food, good education, warm clothing and a blessed home.  

Thank You for giving us the gift of people. My lolo, lola, and my other relatives are a blessing to us.

This life may not be exactly how I prayed it to be, but this life will never change the fact that You are and will always be God and You will always be good. There is always a reason to thank you.

That is why I thank you, well…for You. =)

I thank you that…. (*sings) I have You, You have me , we’re one happy family! =)

I thank You for Jesus through whom we enjoy the favor, grace and mercy You are richly giving us. If I may say so, You, Lord, have an adorable son. He is precious to me. 

Lord, I can give You nothing in return except the remaining time I have on earth. 

I love You so so much…and thank You.

Love,

Rye

Insulting God

Sometimes, without us knowing, we are saying words and doing things that insult God. These are works of unbelief, works done because we do not trust God.

My dad has safely arrived last Monday night. But I remember, earlier that day, when my mom and I were going home to Manila (from Tagaytay), there suddenly came a strong rain shower. 

It was so strong that it almost blinded the window of the car. So my mom started worrying. "What if the same weather is to welcome dad when he lands?" A bit of fear came to me.

Then I remembered God.  I prayed for his safety. God loves me and I know He will hear my prayer. "Don't worry, mom, God will give us a good weather tonight. Just trust Him." I told her.


She replied " Let your brother stay in Tagaytay instead so that he won't have to go throught this storm later."


The idea that doing this might insult the Lord suddenly hit me. It is as if she's saying,"no, God cannot do anything about this storm and even though He can, He will not."


See how a normal practical thought can offend God. So I told her to trust in the Lord because surely, He will provide us a good weather. I also told her not to do that because she might be insulting God.


And, praise God, she listened. 


And I was not put in to shame.  A good, rainless, weather was given by the Lord.


I was reminded of what David did. It was a plain simple, wise, practical, tactical thing to do. As king, he counted the number of his fighting men. Not really an obvious sin. But he trusted in numbers rather than trusting in Yahweh, the One who fights for them. 


David realized how he have sinned. And God punished Israel for that simple act of unbelief. 


We may be doing things which we think are okay but is already insulting to God. It's time to do some checking with our hearts. 

For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” Romans 10:11